Happy New Year! While some people are radiating motivation and positivity, others may be feeling less than optimistic, because the reality is, either you are a goal-setter and goal-getter, or you aren’t. Chances are you are someone who makes your dreams a reality or you are someone who makes your dreams a distant memory. Why? Well, it’s a lot of things, but often it’s you! We hold the key to our success whether we like it or not, and that means we may need to make some New Year’s Realizations more than we need some resolutions!

If you want to be the person you dream of becoming, you must get real with yourself. This doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything, chances are you can do everything, but depending on how you think, and on your actions will impact your success. If you think about the most successful people around you, chances are they are also authentic people, they are people who naturally invest in their own health, education, and well-being, they aren’t making time, it’s just how they use their time. They know who they are, so they know what they need. They don’t have to fake it, and neither do you!

Who are you? This is a hard question. Especially if you have recently had a loss, major life change, or illness. Anytime something significant happens in our life, we may feel detached from who we are and sometimes we don’t even feel like we are living in our own bodies. The reality is, if you want to make a resolution, you will need a solution that fits you, but who are you? What do you feel identifies you? Think of what makes you, you, without listing your job or things you own. Are you a sibling or parent? Are you a musician or love to bake? Are you someone who loves shopping for deals or can’t wait to plant seeds in the spring? Who are you?

What do you like? No really, think about it. What season do you like? What smells, textures, flavors, songs, places, colors, cars, you name it? Are you even comfortable saying what you like? No, not what you don’t like, that’s not what goal-getters do. They say I like that, I want that, that’s how I am going to get it. Practice noticing and saying what you like. Before you go to bed, think of 10 things you liked about the day. When you brush your teeth, look in the mirror and think of ten things you like about yourself. Even if you have to fake it, practice naming what you like!

What do you want to do? Ok, ok, ok, we all want to win the lottery, but get realistic, what do you really want to do with your life, your days, your hours? Do you really want to just work and watch tv? Does that leave you feeling fulfilled? If so, great! If not, why? What are things you aren’t doing or making time for that you want to do? What types of things make you feel good, and make you proud? Do you want to run a 5K? Do you want to join a book club or try out for a play? Do you want to see your kids more or travel? How do you want to spend your time?

Whom do you want to spend time with? Before you say no one, remember that we are scientifically social beings. We are made to connect with other people, there are people who can bring meaning and joy to our lives. Who are your people? If you aren’t sure, what types of people are you seeking? What are their qualities? What do you want to get back from these people? Don’t worry about how to fix the messy parts. But who do you want to spend time with and why?

Realizing these things about yourself can help you break through into a new realization of what you really want. Are you realizing that you want a healthier, happier, more connected you in 2023? What would help you find that light bulb moment that could change your life? YOU! Take the time to get to know about who you are, what you like, what you want to do, and whom you want to spend time with, and see how that reveals what real resolutions may lie ahead for you. Trusting, that positivity will breed more positivity, and that a deeper personal awareness is where your success will be. There’s no success in watching other people, there’s no achievement in investing in everything other than yourself. You can be so unstoppable, those around you won’t be able to help but notice how confident and authentic you are. When you truly realize who you are, what you want, what you want to do, and whom you want to do it with, those goals you used to wish for become your reality! Stop dreaming in 2023, get real!


Mary Hoadley

Director of The Wellness Center