Most people go through their day with ease and flow that can be quickly stolen should their personal space and safety be impacted. For over 13.5 million Americans, the ability to go through the day without worry or anxiety about their surroundings is something they lost due to the actions of someone else, a stalker. Stalking may be something you don’t relate to impacting one’s health and wellness, but for those living with someone lurking, finding freedom after a stalking situation or perhaps supporting a loved one who is in this reality, the harmful effects of living in this limbo of unsafety is clear. When our safety is stolen, so is our health.
January is Stalking Awareness Month, making now the perfect time to raise awareness about this serious issue that impacts many more people than you may think. What is stalking? According to the National Institute of Health, it’s the pattern of behavior that causes someone to feel afraid, nervous or unsafe and can have a critical impact on one’s physical and mental health. According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, approximately 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have experienced stalking in their lifetime. In 2022, The Vermont Network, which is made up of organizations providing specialized care and services to survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence and stalking, shared they had 425 Vermonters reach out for help.
Stalking isn’t just someone bothering someone else or playing games. It’s a crime. In Vermont, stalking is defined as, “When a person purposely follows, monitors, surveils, threatens to hurt you, or interferes with your property. Calling you names or telling lies about you is not stalking. The defendant must have done this at least two times. One incident is not stalking. The behavior must be serious enough that a reasonable person would fear for their physical safety or the safety of a family member, or it would cause them to suffer substantial emotional distress.” This information is found on the https://www.vermontjudiciary.org website, which shares what emotional distress can be described as, such as, “Fear of unlawful sexual conduct, unlawful restraint, bodily injury or death, or significant modifications in your actions or routines, including moving from an established residence, changing established daily routes to and from work that cause a serious disruption in your life, changes to your employment or work schedule, or the loss of a job or time from work.”
Knowing what stalking is, we can now understand that its impact on one’s personal health and wellness could surely cause anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Many victims experience sleep issues, leading to fatigue, which we know can impact our immune system. The constant stress and fear of being watched or harmed can impact one’s ability to care for themselves as they normally would or prioritize their health and wellness needs. Fear from a stalker can cause a victim to be isolated from social situations and even cause them to be fearful from going to regular appointments or doctor’s visits.
When someone is living with an active stalker, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and take steps to ensure personal safety. This can include creating a safety plan, varying daily routines, and avoiding isolated areas. However, it’s important to remember, the victim is just that, a victim. Victims should not be blamed for going to the grocery store, mailbox or living a regular life. Victims of stalking should also seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help cope with the emotional impact, and those supporting them should offer support rather than added pressures and fear. Victims may feel more empowered by staying connected with others through phone calls, video chats, or online support groups that can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation. When approaching daily life, it is essential to be aware of one’s surroundings and trust one’s instincts. If a situation feels uncomfortable or unsafe, it is best to remove oneself from the situation and seek help.
Helpers can start by first always believing the victim and offering a safe place to share. It’s important to support those affected by stalkers by hearing their boundaries and respecting their safety plans. If someone is sharing what sounds like a stalking situation with you, they may not realize it themselves. Offer them your concern for their safety in a gentle way. Sometimes a stalker is someone a person loves, or works with, sees every day, etc. Sometimes a stalker can be a complete stranger, making it all that more confusing for the victim. If you or someone else thinks they may have a stalker, contact a local law enforcement agency for help. Additionally, the Vermont Network , mentioned above, provides resources and support for victims including a 24-hour hotline and counseling services: https://www.vtnetwork.org/get-help/.
Stalking is something we should all be taking seriously. Putting an end to stalking is important for everyone’s health and wellness, to reduce the long-lasting and sometimes life-threatening effects on one’s life. Together we can start to talk more openly about this issue, raise awareness, support victims, hold stalkers accountable and work towards creating safer and more supportive communities for everyone. We all deserve to live in confidence, and no one deserves to be living in safety limbo.